I Want To Know How To Kill Someone 213 Different Ways With My Thumb!
Alright, this question is for all the guys out there:
Guys, this weekend, I watched The Bourne Ultimatum again, this time with my wife who hadn’t yet seen it. I was gleefully excited for the film to begin. When it was over, I offhandedly said something about wishing I was Jason Bourne. My wife was taken aback and insisted that I clarify my statement.
“I wish I knew how to shoot like that,” I said. “I wish I knew how to fight like that. I wish I knew how to kill someone 213 different ways with my thumb. Not that I want to kill someone—I just want to know how. Should the need arise.”
This surprised her and lest she thought I was some sort of aberrant freak, I told her that the vast majority of men who were walking out of the theater with us felt the exact same way. Though she didn’t put me up to it, I told her if I informally polled those men filing out beside us, they would say the same thing. They too wanted to be Bourne. They too wanted to be Bond.
I tried to explain to her that it was important to us that we be in the right and fighting for a good cause.
“We don’t get like this watching a serial killer movie,” I insisted. “But it’s a fantasy every guy harbors to be a spy on a cat and mouse chase where lives hang in the balance and the world depends on us coming out on top.”
So, I ask you, am I way off here? Is it just me? (Later that night we asked a friend if he felt the same way and he said, “Oh yeah, absolutely.” And he’s a priest!) So back me up guys—not that the majority can’t be a bunch of hardened, violence loving sociopaths—but did you walk out of Bourne wishing you could be him or is it just me?